Not a lot has happened this week since I've been in Boise. I've gone bowling, sat on my ass at "home", went to C of I to visit some friends (It's ironic that you guys are the only ones who read this). The reason I put home in quotes is because I don't really feel like I'm at home. My little dorm room up in Moscow has become my home. So much has changed since I left during the summer. It seems like some of the people I thought would be my friends for a lifetime have taken a different fork in the road than I. In fact some of them scoff or roll their eyes at the decisions that I've made in my life. I got asked yesterday why I do ROTC. My reasons don't have to make sense to you, they don't have to be good enough for you so you can shove your scoffs and eye rolls up your ass. My answer to the question by the way: It's my dream to become a pilot, being an officer in any branch of the military is one of the most prestigious and honorable things a person can do in the world. I'll be putting my life on the line so that you can live your life however the fuck you want. I didn't say it when I got asked even though I should have. It's what I believe and why I put myself through every challenge on a daily basis. I'm glad that the people in Moscow understand why I do it. Though they may not completely agree, they still support me 100% like good friends should. It's who I am now, understand it, accept it because I'm not changing. Moscow, Phi Delt, I'll be home soon.
Alarm went off months ago,
Why didn't I wake up?
Why didn't I realize?
Hope there's still time.
Pray for the Divine.
Forgive my mistakes,
Make me wiser.
Push it all behind
take off, fly, zoom.
Peace.
I'm not challenging your decision about ROTC specifically but all of your choices in general. Why do you choose what you choose? Are you losing yourself in the process? Who are you becoming? Why is it "one of the most prestigious and honorable things a person can do in the world"? Who made it that way?
ReplyDeleteNot just ROTC. Everything.
The officers that have served before me have made it that way. The ones that made sure that you and I can live the way we want. Maybe I'm different, but in my eyes the only ways that I've changed are for the better. I've kept to all of my morals. Just because I've had to memorize things doesn't mean that I've lost myself. I'm not sure you can really make your judgement from a 10 minute conversation.
ReplyDelete