Let me take this time to relieve some stress.

Wednesdays are possibly the worst day of the week. Why? Here's two solid reasons. 1. It's the same schedule as Monday. 2. I always have more homework Wednesday nights than I do any other day of the week. If today were a person they would have already been punched right in the face and quite possibly curb stomped. I hate you Wednesday.

Let's talk about some happy things.

The last time I blogged I talked about how happy I was to be single and how ready I was to go party with my other single bro, Cody. Well a lot has changed since then. My long time girl friend in high school turned ex and I started talking like human beings again. No more hating to hate one another or pretending like we didn't care that the other one existed. Turns out we can actually get a long. Soooo.... we are. Courtney and I are going on close to two months of our long distance relationship. I'm absolutely infatuated with this girl. Although she's close to 6 hours away, it seems that I could never be happier. Not to get too cheesy but I'm definitely floating on air everyday that we talk to each other. I love her. Simple as that.

So in summary this year has been great, minus the school, and the homework, and anything academically related. I'm as happy as I possibly can be and it's all thanks to her.

Anti-Social Butterfly

5 More days until I'm back at school. I honestly never thought I'd long to go back to school like this. This summer has been my loneliest summer of all time. I was single for a summer for the first time in 4 years which actually kind of sucks when you don't have friends to hang out with everyday. Unfortunately for me I had to make that trek across the country like I usually do. It was weird not texting someone constantly. Most days I left my phone in my room because I knew that people weren't going to text me. What's there to talk about? Oh yeah, I went to ghetto shit-hole of a store K-mart today and then watched tv. Exciting life I live. I know I'm not supposed to bash but K-mart is like if Khols and Walmart had a retarded baby and then put it in a foster home 20 years later you'd have K-mart. But seriously 5 days and my life goes back to normal. The thing I'm most excited about (besides actually having a social life again)... I'll have a wing man that's ready to be a wing man. FINALLY. God I love Greek life. Not to mention I get to be sold to a sorority girl for a night (not prostitution, but close). Does life get any better? Spoiler Alert: Doubtful.

Lost My Drive

It's spring, school is almost out and I'm pondering what I will be doing when I get home for summer break. ROTC ended a couple of weeks ago and since then I haven't seen the inside of the REC center not to mention been inside. I don't have to run at this point so why should I? But when summer gets here I'm gonna work out everyday, I'm gonna get huge, wicked swollen. Run erryday, push ups every morning. Fast forward to summer. The first nice day I go to play basketball; jump, roll and sprain (Even a ten from the French judges). There goes all the running I'm going to do this summer. At least I can still do push ups right? Here's the classic morning/night thought "I should do pushups, nah I'd rather (insert any excuse you can think of here)." As the summer goes on I find that I'm more and more comfortable with my slacking. Let's think about this. I don't really care at this point. There's no one here that I'm trying to impress or care about. My family sure as hell doesn't care about what kind of physical shape I'm in. We're Italian we eat pasta on a daily basis; getting fat is just what we do. There are no girls here that I've seen enough times that I know are interested or I'm interested in. So enter the conundrum if you will: I want to get huge, ripped, and tone but on the other hand I could really care less. Working out alone is too much of a hassle and I'm not going to stop eating food. My fat kid would die. I guess all I can say is here's to losing another 10lbs when ROTC actually does start up again. At least I'm not as fat as last year! And I guess it's not all that bad. I mean could look like this:

I guess I'll save that for retirement. Note the big slice of cake. Yum.

I woke up at 4 this morning...

so I thought this was fitting.

I'm tan and fat(ter)

After a week in the hot sun of Corrolla (OBX) I'm happy to be home. There's only so much vacationing with my family that I can take before I'd like to feed them to the fish. Here are my 3 cheers/jeers of this vacation.

Cheers
1. I'm at the golden brown tan stage, it only gets better from here.
2. Sun just about errryday made the beach that much more enjoyable. I taught my sister how to boogie board like a champ.
3. Like every good vacation you have to eat good food ours was no different. I'm afraid to look at my scale at this point. "We bought those doughnuts for you!" "Yeah and I ate them all by myself."

Jeers
1. My 6 pack is slowly becoming a keg
2. Drunken adults and crazy little kids are never a good combination for a vacation
3. Having someone my age would have made this vacation way more enjoyable. Not saying that I didn't have fun but there was definitely and age gap that I fell right into. 2 Weeks on the east coast I definitely miss my Bros and Hos (the 9 most important ones).

Late add in (neither or a cheer or jeer): Watching dolphins have a 3 way is extremely awkward with sisters who know what is going on but at the same time are too young to really tell them what's going on.

Airports are like Relationships

I hate going to one just like I hate getting involved in a relationship. Everyday is just an emotional roller coaster that either brings you depression or overwhelming joy. They're both overly expensive but unfortunately sometimes necessary. There's always a variety of food choices. The airport has the power to save or ruin a relationship. The power to bring people together or send them apart. My relationship with the airport has become rather unfriendly. It has brought regret, like some relationships do for many. And yet at the end of the day reaching your destination is like a relationship that you wish would last forever in the sense that nothing/no one else can make you smile and laugh in quite the same way. I Love/Hate Airports/Relationships.

I'm gonna make you a mixtape

Last night on my way home while listening to the radio I kept switching between stations to find something good to listen to. While switching I came across two generations of love songs, one from the 80s and another from this year. It got me to thinking. What ever happened to the mixtape? Why did it ever die? I mean what's more romantic, funny, or cheesy than getting a tape of love music that you actually enjoy. It's so much easier than coming up with something original these days that's going to swoon your girl or boy since it's pretty much all been said before. Obviously technology has evolved so much to make the actual casset (so out of date that not even chrome's spell check would help me) tape obsolete. We could move onto the CD if we really wanted to and as for me I really want to. That's why I've decided to blog 4 songs from 4 decades that I would put on my mixCD/Playlist whatever the hell you want to call it.

1980s: Faithfully - Journey
Best love song of the 80s and possibly the greatest love song ever written although many on the internet would probably disagree (I don't care go write your own blog). The only thing with this song is you can't use it unless you're in the relationship with the person and they're not going to run off if you tell them you love them. Besides what girl doesn't like voice of Steve Perry? He's been giving broners since Journey was formed.

1990s Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
Any Goo Goo Dolls song will work here since they helped make the mid 90s a great time for music. I had a hard time choosing one from the 90s since it's my favorite genre of music but it came down to this one. It's rare to find a girl our age that doesn't like this song. The fact that it came from City of Angels just makes it that much more of a love song. If you get it stuck in your chica's head she won't forget you.

2000s Kiss Me Thru the Phone - Soulja Boy ft. Sammie
This decade was hard to chose from just because of the way music changed. Hip Hop and Rap started to take over as the music of choice. You know I could have went with Candy Shop by 50 Cent or Goodies by Cierra but those may have been a little too suggestive for what I'm trying to do. Instead I went with Kiss Me Through the Phone a more recent song for all of those long distance lovers. I'm not saying that this is the best song in the decade but for what a mixtape tries to accomplish, it works.

Since our current decade is not even two years old I decided to go with the song that got me started on this whole mixtape blog.

2010s Roll Up - Wiz Khalifa
It says everything that a guy needs to tell his girl just in a way more ghetto way. For all the white people he's telling a girl that he's always there for her. Don't worry I understand him since I'm Blurple.

In the end when you make your mixtape obviously you want it to appeal to whoever it is you're going after. Who knows none of these songs may even apply to the one you're trying to swoon or impress with your taste in music. You should probably get to know their music choice (might be important if you want a relationship with them).

My sorta kinda not really ex-family

Means more to me than I realized. I forgot how much they made me laugh, how witty each one of them is. I forgot how cheesy but entertaining their stories are. I didn't expect a small birthday for my "other mom" to impact me the way it did -- after all I've been away and mostly out of contact with them for almost 9 months now. But when you spend almost 2 years with a group of people they make an impact on your life that's bigger than I could have imagined. Just being in their presence made me remember so many things that I had done with them. It filled me with so much joy but at the same time waves of depression. Happy that I get to see the people that I had friendship with but sad at the same time that our relationship had changed so much and at the same time not at all.

When the party was over both my "other mom" and might as well call him "other dad" both told me how much it meant to them that I was there. And as I got my hug and my handshake I couldn't help but fight back tears because I miss how things were so much. I miss my "other family". A lot.

My 11:11 wish...

Because I know it won't come true...

I could open up without consequence.

Mother's Day

Or as it's known by many in college, oh shit I really miss my mom day. As many on Facebook posted their statuses about how good it was to be with their moms it made me realize how much I really miss mine. I haven't seen her since I left at Christmas break and before that I practically lived at her house. If I could spend my college years at home with my mom and still have the same experience in college I'd do it in a heartbeat. And my only regret of high school is not having her around for all of it. If she ever reads this all I'd want her to know is that I love her with all my heart and miss her like no one's business. When I think of my mom I remember the days of little league when she would be the loudest parent in the stands and no matter what she had my back. I could have struck out looking and the ball could have been right down the middle and even though I tell her it was my fault it wouldn't stop her from yelling at the umpire for me. If there's one thing I'm looking forward to this summer, it's going back to Philly to see her.

It's a Mystery to Me.

Even in the midst of happiness in the life that I'm living there are subtle things about relationships with other people that can take me back to a place where I don't want to go. Although the times that I spent in the past were some of the best times in my life thinking about them can ruin my day almost instantly. It makes me wonder if you can ever really move on from someone or if you're always going to have that what if stuck in the back of your mind. Even as I've found new friends and girls to keep me occupied and happy theres always something that brings me back. Some question of how things have been for me or something that has happened in their life where I can relate to. I don't know how many times I've had to tell the story of my break ups to people in the past year, there are too many to count. You'd think the story would get easier to tell but no that would make life too easy. Each time I feel the same way and even as I write this I don't want to think about it. I'd rather forget everything happened than have to relive them which is sad since that was the best time in my life thus far. And at the same time I wonder if this will all just go away one day without me thinking about it.

I think the hardest part of all of it though is losing a friend. I went from texting someone non-stop (and I'd say that everyone who was around me would agree that it was non-stop) to where I'm at now where the last thing that I told her was essentially to fuck off. It's hard for exes to be friends and that may be the understatement of 2011. To be honest I'm not really sure why I'm thinking about this now. It comes in waves of extremes it seems like.

I don't really know what else to write here other than to apologize for my excessive rambling about irrelevant things that go through my head. Sometimes I just gotta get my thoughts out, even if the whole world's gonna see them.

Paper Break

Heard it in Bob's and it made me depressed a little.

Jeans skinny, like Squidward. Learned this dance this weekend.

Angry playlist after losing dodgeball today.

3 more weeks... I'm getting too old for this shit.

The Worst Star Wars Quotes to Shout Out During Sex

By Oliver Miller

1) “…I am your father!”

2) “You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought!”

3) “We’re starting for the target shaft now!”

4) “Into the garbage chute, flyboy!”

5) “No reward is worth this!”

6) “Ungh! And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!”

7) “Put that thing away, you’re gonna get us all killed!”

8 ) “RRRWARRRRGH!”

9) “Laugh it up, fuzzball!”

10) “It’s no good! I can’t maneuver!”

11) “ARRWOOOGH!”

12) “Now, his failure is complete.”

13) “Get in there, you big furry oaf!”

14) “Would it help if I got out and pushed?!”

15) “Yesss… Your sister!”

16) “You have controlled your fear! Now, unleash your anger!”

17) “I have a bad feeling about this!”

18) “Size matters not! Look at me!”

19) “Stay on target!”

20) “What a piece of junk!”

Summary of this week

I just watched my best friend go through a break up that probably should have never happened but I guess people think differently than me. This whole week he was in a state of "what the fuck just happened?" while trying to get back into the groove after a long spring break for him. While this goes on I have to relive harsh memories of a similar time to provide comfort for my bro. And even in the midst of all this I wonder to myself if I really want to start another relationship at all. I'll admit it, I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt again. Seeing my happy-go-lucky friend get turned into a heap of depressed emotions is, to say the least, fucked up. I just don't know if it's worth it anymore.

The two positives of this week my sophomore mentor and I won Honor Cadets of the month and then I got girl scout cookies. The inner fat kid lives on.

Rediscovered Love

It seems like every year I fall in love with college basketball at about the same time. I could care less what happens November-February but as soon as March comes around it becomes an obsession. My bracket always sucks but I'll take 32 close, last second shot winning games over a perfect bracket any day. I'm pretty sure that the only thing to make my 4 hour straight March Madness marathon better is if Mila Kunis decided to come over in her sweats and watch this game with me and then make us both sandwiches. Sexist, I know, but she's my future wife and I'm hungry so it's okay. Turkey & Swiss + March Madness + Mila = a pretty damn good day. Oh well, maybe next year.

Who are you?

Not a lot has happened this week since I've been in Boise. I've gone bowling, sat on my ass at "home", went to C of I to visit some friends (It's ironic that you guys are the only ones who read this). The reason I put home in quotes is because I don't really feel like I'm at home. My little dorm room up in Moscow has become my home. So much has changed since I left during the summer. It seems like some of the people I thought would be my friends for a lifetime have taken a different fork in the road than I. In fact some of them scoff or roll their eyes at the decisions that I've made in my life. I got asked yesterday why I do ROTC. My reasons don't have to make sense to you, they don't have to be good enough for you so you can shove your scoffs and eye rolls up your ass. My answer to the question by the way: It's my dream to become a pilot, being an officer in any branch of the military is one of the most prestigious and honorable things a person can do in the world. I'll be putting my life on the line so that you can live your life however the fuck you want. I didn't say it when I got asked even though I should have. It's what I believe and why I put myself through every challenge on a daily basis. I'm glad that the people in Moscow understand why I do it. Though they may not completely agree, they still support me 100% like good friends should. It's who I am now, understand it, accept it because I'm not changing. Moscow, Phi Delt, I'll be home soon.

Alarm went off months ago,
Why didn't I wake up?
Why didn't I realize?
Hope there's still time.
Pray for the Divine.
Forgive my mistakes,
Make me wiser.
Push it all behind
take off, fly, zoom.
Peace.

This week

Other than the nap I'm going to to take every single day, this week sucks. All the people I wanted to hang out with are still in school. I should have just stayed in my freaking dorm. What makes it so much harder is the absence of Facebook. I have to find something else to keep me busy during my 10 hours of alone time. I guess I'll be playing a lot of Black Ops unless someone comes and decides to save me (very unlikely). Moscow despite your multi-polar weather you are missed.

I've got 10 minutes.

Here's my two songs for the time being.

Wonderful by Everclear

Crystal Baller by Third Eye Blind

It's a trap!

This post is just straight up giving props to George Lucas for creating the best series of movies this world has ever seen. I would literally do anything to live in the world of Star Wars. We just got done watching Return of the Jedi in our hall. While watching the movie I decided that I want a pet Ewok. Just in case you don't know what they are I'm adding a picture.

Tell me this little mother fucker isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen. Not only that but it makes the empire it's bitch all day erryday. Thank you George Lucas for creating Star Wars. My life would be dull without it.



I need a doctor.

Or for the next 5 days to be over. I'm tired of stressing. This morning I woke up at 4 and my first thought was I didn't do any Spanish this weekend. From that point on, there was no more sleeping. I can't wait to go home. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed without fear of dying from a 10 foot fall. I can't wait to take long hot showers with a shower head that actually works and not have to wear flip flops. I can't wait to eat all of my Dad's good home cooked, covered in all that southern goodness food with my family. I can't wait to ball it up with some of my bros even though I'm no longer Blurple and none of us are any good. I miss the Bros, and the Hoes too I guess. I just can't wait to be home and to not think about stuff that should never even cross my mind in the first place.

"I'm about to lose my mind, you've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time."

On a side note though: I love formal Mondays and today I look fly as hell. Blues tomorrow, at least I'll look good this week. "Mmmmhmm you know that's right."

I hate wanting to be the best.

It's always that much more disappointing when you find out that you're not.

But, man do I love a challenge.

Attention Drunk People

2 Things: 1.I hate all of you!
               2.Do not call me. (Jasmine you weren't the only one last night)

Too much time, not enough drama!

Oh wait I got that backwards... I'll address the drama side first.

Being the middle man is the worst and I feel like the arguments are so petty that they aren't even worth listening to. Seriously how old are we these days? I feel like my 4 year old nephew's (Happy Birthday Christian) problems with his toy train track are bigger than some of the ones I'm facing now with people. Here's the thing (and I'll admit I'm guilty of this at times too) if you know you're problem is stupid, like seriously just so dumb... - "How dumb is it?" - dumber than trying not think about penguins (I bet you're thinking about penguins now) then please, please, and one more for emphasis please don't tell me about it. I may help you but try and be an adult and handle it yourself. Let's just try and be mature in normal situations. Just so you know that doesn't include screaming obnoxiously in a hall way. That's just having fun. I'm just tired of seeing relationships with long time friends end because of small nit picky things.

So for time.. I realized today that a 4 day weekend isn't nearly as long as I thought it was going to be. It's like those fun sized chocolate candies you get on Halloween. They're not fun size, they're more like here's one bite now crave this candy for hours on end size. I saw my friends for like a total of 7 or 8 hours max. I didn't get to play a game of basketball with my bros. Hell I didn't even get to watch any Food Channel with or without muddy buddies. I just didn't get to do everything on my list. To top everything off my sister turns 9 this week. WTF?! When did this shit happen? Someone slow this clock down before shit gets real and we're all married with children working 40 hour week jobs. I like my part-time job where I stand and scream weird obnoxious things to people I've never even met.

Some things I did accomplish this weekend however: 1. I met Claudia, Jasmine's roommate. I must say she is probably the coolest roommate that I've met so far and I've met a lot of roommates from my obnoxious hall yelling. 2. Got called gay. I have to say that's a first because I never realized that I had "gay tendencies" except around the Bros. Then again Bromances aren't gay, just brocurious. We shall meet again and you won't find out if I'm good with my hands.  3. I almost surprised Jazzy. Almost... "and it would have worked too! If it wasn't for those sniveling kids and that dog!" "Rog? Where?" 4. Got my KK fix taken care of.

Dear World,
Give me more time and kill the overly dramatic.
Thanks,
Mistajonez

I'm addicted.

To Pandora, Youtube, Jersey Shore, and 90s music. At least it's not meth right?

I gave in.

So I needed to laugh. Here are a few videos that have gone around the house.

Sexy Sax Man

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

The Assumption Song

and then I just listened to 90s music.

Happy Singles Awareness Day

I'm lonely this year but at least I'm saving the money I don't have.

UOMe

Because this is better than my sappy poem and I love 90s music so much. Thank you Pandora.



Not Comin Home

Tell the world I'm not coming home :(. I needed it too. This whole new school/experience feeling has worn off. I'm tired and the whole 19 credits thing has finally caught up. I've certainly had better ideas in my day. And I'm feeling like "I'm Lost in Philadelphia".

This pretty much sums up why I've been feeling so crappy lately:

Can’t escape you,

Pictures, thoughts, memories,

Cant get far enough away,

People, moments, time.

Can’t just let go of anything,

-Me (FYI)

I just wish I could sleep it off but you end up there too. I want to move on, I've prayed for it just about every night to take these stupid feelings away. I'm so sick of this feeling. It's sooooooooo annoying. I miss going home every weekend. I need an escape cuz I can't delete everything with you in it, I wouldn't have much left not to mention Angie would murder me for ripping down half of her pictures. What's funny is I deleted the first post I wrote today so that you wouldn't read it but whatever... what-er-er. You already know I miss you and if you don't well now you know. "I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone." Thanks Drake/pandora for playing that right now, great timing. There aren't enough interesting girls to help distrac me from my thoughts. All my 90s music makes me think of you now, just because you said something. Sigh. What else can I say before I end this? Dreams? I punched you one night and then you went on vacation with us the next. I fell asleep in math since I can't sleep at night and you were there. My long the other day started with one of those dreams, kind of a day ruiner right off the bat so when you texted me you were like the last person I really wanted to talk to. But thanks for trying to cheer me up. And yeah I directed this right at you because it's only you and Jasmine that read this anyways. I'll write someting for you later Jasmine.

Now for something happy :D. Samantha made a moose at build-a-bear today and put Air Force service blues on it. Its name is Ryan. Best. Sisters. Ever.



Ojala

I'm not gonna translate for you, I already did that today.

It was time.

Anyone else feel like they were the only person without a blog? Apparently Jazzyijay and I did but now we're part of that circle. Yeah, we gave into peer pressure. So here we go, I'm gonna start laying my whole life down on the Internet for all you yahoos that like to read these things.

To start, I freaking love it here at U of I. With a fellow founding father of the Bro Wall here to guide me through my time and the wondrous Angela to help with all of my fashion, or lack there of, I finally feel like I'm home. I pledged Phi Delta Theta, probably the best fraternity here on campus. It was nice because it seemed like 75% of the people in the house knew who I was before I even walked through the door. To give you perspective that's more people than St. Joes in a whole semester. That's probably partially my fault but we live and learn, right? On that note I do have to say that I miss the people that I did become friends with and it sounds like I actually did make an impact on some of them at least. I kind of feel like an artist that just died and now people are like oh hey his work was actually decent.

Before I end I'd like to give a shout out to all of those in Boise, Caldwell, and of course Philly. None of you will probably see this anytime soon but that's okay. If I could name all of you I would but there's too many.

THE HAWK WILL NEVER DIE!